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snapchatting:

God liked Saturn so he put a ring on it. :) haha only Christian astronauts will get this one!

Yes. You have to be:
1. An Astronaut
2. A Christian

So that narrows the intended audience down to a handful Americans. Americans, because Russians call them Cosmonauts.
Then you have to exclude all the non Christian Astronauts,
because apperantly they have no sense of humor.

Congratualations, you’ve made one very specialised joke. Maybe 20 people on the entire world had a laugh.

(via dutchster)

Source: snapchatting
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unhazed:

do you ever listen to a song and remember exactly what life was like when you first heard it

(via dutchster)

Source: unhazed
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"If you put a Unix shell to your ear, do you hear the C?"

Source: keepcalmandprogram
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destroyedforcomfort:

blackfootbeauty:

oliasis:

notyour-sidekick:

kleenexwoman:

did-you-kno:

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I have a few copies of “Playboy” from the 1970s stashed away somewhere. One of them has a letter where a guy writes in saying, “I met this really gorgeous, sweet woman, and we were planning to get married, but she sat me down yesterday and told me that she had a sex change before she met me. Mr. Hefner, should I marry someone who used to be a man?” and the response was, “So she had a sex change, big whoop. Would you be asking this question if she’d made any other change in her life before she met you? You love the woman she is now, and that’s all that should matter. If you want kids you can adopt or something.”

I feel so conflicted right now

That awkward moment when Hugh Hefner is more trans-positive than most feminists of the same era. 

omg

My new personal hero

(via gonzobuddhist)

Source: didyouknowblog.com
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acrumblebatchwithcustardfreeman:

pantlesscait:

sherlockismysuicidenote:

kanrose:

If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.

After trying the verses, a Frenchman said he’d prefer six months of hard labour to reading six lines aloud.

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[source]

OUR TEACHER MADE US READ THIS OUT LOUD IN CLASS AND I DIED

I still can’t say anemone

I only stuttered like twice and I’m stupidly proud.

(via lunalovegouda)

Source: kanrose
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green-tea-rex:

It’s 1am so I’m sorry for the people who won’t see this. But if you want confidence and don’t know how to get it, a really good way is to be confident in other people. When you walk into Starbucks, think, “damn, that barista’s hair is da bomb!” Or when you go to school, think, “my teacher is rocking that skirt!” When you start seeing everyone as being beautiful, at some point you realize that you’re everyone too.

I gave this a try.
My barista did have nice hair but acted as a cunt.
My teacher looks like an expired sloth and wears those fuzzy robes even Qui-Gon Gin wouldn’t want to be buried in.

(via dutchster)

Source: green-tea-rex
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It’s more like a t to be honest.
I think it’s gods way saying you are a twat.

Source: memewhore
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frozensecond:

Our second rescue from beagles who have lived their entire lives inside a research laboratory. These beagles have known nothing except the confines of metal cages. They have known no soft human touch, no warm bed, no companionship, no love. They have never been outside or sniffed a tree or grass. 

Finally, after years of being poked and prodded, these beagles are FREE! ARME got the call that a facility was willing to release them to us after they had been used in several tests. We picked them up on June 8th and now they are all in loving foster homes, and one has already been adopted. (Click here too see the video).

(via dutchster)

Source: frozensecond
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poopflow:

smokeweedandeatpizza:

This is where that aubrey gif came from.

IM CRYING

Haha, juicy juwel of flavour

(via dutchster)

Source: smokeweedandeatpizza